I remember the moment a decade ago when a big chunk of education fell in my lap. It was at a workshop on strengthening relationships, during which facilitator Reid Mihalko looked around the room at dozens of therapists, life coaches, and sexual healers, asking for a show of hands. “How many of you are in […]
Learning to Cheerlead Our Partner’s Big Separate Lives
It’s perfectly safe to try this at home. 1. Take two paper plates—one representing you, the other your partner—and lay them on a table side by side. 2. Nudge them together until the two partially overlap. The part in that overlaps represents your relationship. The parts that don’t overlap represent your lives separate from each […]
Are You Poly Tribal or Poly Traditional?
I’ve been a member of the polyamorous community in Chicago for several years and am now starting to make poly friends in New Orleans. Both cities have poly discussion groups. The issues are the same; only the faces are different. “Poly serves my needs much better than monogamy ever did.” “I want to move from […]
Jumping Off the Infatuation Merry-Go-Round
Falling in Love with Love is falling for make-believe! Falling in Love with Love is playing the fool! Caring too much is such a juvenile fancy! Learning to trust is just for children in school. I fell in Love with Love one night when the moon was full I was unwise with eyes unable to […]
I Loved Both of My “Failed Marriages”
Many myths linger in our culture about marriage. For instance … A good marriage requires compromise.Marriage necessitates choosing love over freedom. You have to work hard on your relationship to have a good marriage.For a marriage to be successful, it has to last forever. I’m shaking my head as I review this list, thinking about […]