The first time I heard the expression “one-on-one time,” I was living in California working on my PhD. My friend and mentor, psychologist Harold Bessell, was holding seminars for parents on raising emotionally mature kids. I was his workshop organizer and partner at the time, and as such, sat in on all the events. I […]
When the Words, the Music, and the Dance Line Up
Before psychologists are unleashed on the public, they’re formally trained in a variety of therapeutic approaches, each with characteristic ways of looking at human behavior. But it’s the informal descriptions of human interaction that psychologists use most to understand and guide their clients. One of those I learned from Dr. Vilma Ginzberg, while attending one […]
What’s Your Comfort Restaurant?
I was talking to a group of polyamorous friends recently when a woman made an interesting comment. She likened lovemaking with men other than her husband to fine dining—different, exciting, and occasionally exceptional. By contrast, she said, sex with her husband was like returning to her favorite restaurant—comfortable, consistent, and deeply satisfying. “Like an old […]
The One Big Talk
Remember as a kid, one or both of your parents telling you to sit down before proceeding to deliver The One Big Talk? No? You never got The One Big Talk? Instead you were handed pamphlets by the Girl Scouts of America? No? You never got the pamphlets? You weren’t alone. A generation ago, doing […]
Do the $1,000 an Hour Tasks and Delegate the Rest
Insights and discoveries come in a rush—more so I think when we’re young and eager. After all, it’s been said that scientists and mathematicians produce their best work in their 20s and 30s. I was 28, fresh out of graduate school, driving home from a client who was paying me mind-boggling fees of $50 an […]